Linux sucks my balls like a Danish prostitute! Believe me, it does. I know first hand Linux is shit, because I recently tried it. I came with an open mind, willing to accept the advantages of an open source environment: “The programs I could create; the secure development environment I could use!” “Why, maybe someday I could create my own Linux build,” I thought to myself. Now after trying a Linux OS, I can only think, “Hell no!”
So exactly why does Linux (A.K.A. Free BSD) suck? Allow me to tell you my story. I was feeling bored one day, so I thought I’d tree out a build of Linux. I obtained a free build of Red Hat from some Bittorrent website, and I began to install it. It started out looking interesting. It even had a complete rip off of the Windows installation screen, which made it familiar to me, for I run XP. Sadly, this is where the fun ended.
So I installed this piece of shit operating system. What I began with was nothing. The only program there was Konquerer, the worst browser known to man. I decided I would need some programs. So I hard rebooted the machine, and I went online on XP to find an open source program for it, to see how things are installed in the OS. I found the answer, they are installed horribly, but not before I got my first surprise.
I booted the machine in Linux again, after what must be double the time XP takes to load up, I got to the part where they rip off the XP loading screen, only, I didn’t. What I witnessed was a login screen in a command line interface that kept popping on and off. Then it told me there was a program with the Graphical User Interface. (“That there thang that lets you click stuff, ya’ll.”) That’s right, I broke the GUI by hard rebooting something Windows has been able to deal with for like a decade. After reinstalling the whole operating system over again, and contemplating the removal of the reboot button, I tried to install the program I downloaded on Windows.
Now, to actually install a freaking program in a build of Linux, there are no installer .exes. You can use some weird ‘RPM’ whatevers for Red Hat, but they don’t work, so you have to build the freaking program from the source code. So, yes, I’m doing part of the freaking programmer’s job, compiling and building the program. So how do you do this? Do you open a Visual Studio environment? No! You open a command line interface. So you go to the source code with a lot of “cd”-ing, but wait, the compiler isn’t installed. It was left on the disc! I guess they didn’t want me installing programs.
So I got the disc out, found the compiler shit, and I installed it. This process took like thirty freaking minutes just to install what was a few Megs of software. What’s so hard about it? Copy and paste, bitch! So I got the compiler installed, went to the source directory, and I had to type this strange sequence of commands:
./configure
make
make install
So after a million years, the program was built and installed in some millionth sub directory. So I finally found the place where the program was installed, but where the Hell was it? There was some ‘usr’ shit (Which is freaking retarded, why not just call it “user?” What would be so hard about that?) , and some other shit, I don’t remember everything exactly, but I couldn’t find the magic button the made that shit work, so I gave up.
So there you have it! That’s why Linux sucks! To finish off, here are some facts about Linux:
1. Linux is a rip-off of Unix.
2. Linux got its name from its creator Linus, who decided he would make a clone of Unix from scratch and name it after himself.
3. Free BSD is actually a shittier version of Linux. (Yes it is!)
4. Only 0.71% of operating systems run are Linux operating systems. It’s no wonder why...
5. Windows is better than Linux, despite the fact that Windows still sucks.
6. Novell is increasing their market share by associating a hot woman with Linux and a freak and nerd with ‘Macs’ and ‘PCs.’
7. Because of the lack of commenting on this website and the lack of Linux users, practically no one can complain about this article, unless they reference it in their ‘blog,’ thus increasing our fame and ad revenue. (Or maybe some Digg comment.)
That’s all for now, folks! Perhaps some day I’ll rip on the Apple market. Believe me, I have many things to say about Apple.
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Oh, so much to say!